Being Ugly - Story of Gayatri

  • Parents’ first choice for their daughter: A government employee
  • Process is sacrosanct: Engagement and Tilak precedes Wedding ceremony
  • Commit a blunder to correct a blunder Vs compromise
  • Working on a non-trivial problem is not recommended
  • God doesn’t have a rational scope of functioning: Have hope
  • Not sure about destination, choose any of the available routes and work to make your decision a right decision
  • Appreciation motivates, criticism improves
  • Fundamental formula of success

Parents’ first choice for their daughter: A government employee

Everybody in her family was happy though she only couldn’t believe it. It was as if somebody had given happiness her heart is not capable enough to hold it. She was diving deep in jumbled thoughts of happiness and doubt. Family was getting ready to visit a famous temple, Lord Shiva’s abode to offer their gratitude.

She however was thinking to go to her father and ask him to reconfirm. “Has it really happened, somebody has agreed to tie the nuptial knot with her? Is she worth that?” She accompanied her family to temple and offered flowers to Lord Shiva.  She couldn’t concentrate on holy Shrine.

She had grown up listening lots of statements; “No body would like you, God should bless a person with girl only if she is beautiful.” Her parents used to crib with every other relative about her not being so beautiful, rather being ugly. The words of her parents were more painful than the actual feeling of being ugly.

Parents wanted her to get married to a nice guy who belongs to some or the other family among their own relatives. The groom’s family should be that of same status or better. They used to say, “Finding a suitable guy for your girl is more difficult task than getting God.”  

This guy didn’t belong to some or the other relative. He was the son of late Mr. Srivastava, close friend of their neighbor, Mr. Gupta. The guy was working as a clerk in a government office. Everybody knows that getting a government job requires an optimal combination of guts and approach.

Mr. Gupta had told that this guy has got the job by “Mritak Ashrit” quota. A bachelor becomes most wanted if he is a clerk in government organization. This is an endangered species now days!

“Abhijeet Srivastava is the name of young lad, he is tall and good looking”, Mr. Gupta had told to her dad. Her dad was very keen to initiate the process. But her mother was nervous to the grave because of her perception of beauty. And her daughter never got fit in that.

Mr. Gupta had taken the responsibility to take it further being the close friend of Abhijeet’s late father. Don’t you know the name of the ugly girls so far? Oops she was Gayatri.

The day since Gayatri had heard about the first steps being planned her heart beat never came down to normal. “Abhijeet and his mother would meet you in the Tilak ceremony of Mr. Gupta’s son”, Gayatri’s mother told her. Gayatri had lost all the interest in the ceremony of Mr. Gupta’s son though earlier she was actively involved because of her best friend Dolly, Mr. Gupta’s daughter.

Gayatri was pursuing her BA from a government college. She was an average student. She had an elder brother Suneel married to Babita. Suneel was employed in a private company. Mr. Saxena, Gayatri’s father was a clerk in a government college.

Gayatri kept thinking,”How someone like me can, is it possible at all even in the best of my dreams; will I be able to fit in the frame of his expectations’?” The ceremony was very well organized near the park of her home. Guest was appreciating the decorations of the venue. The light works were awesome; electricians had done wonders with their art of decorating the venue. Mr. Gupta was telling everybody with a smile that he had got the best decorators of the city.

Mrs. Saxena had only one wish; selection of her daughter no other thoughts for Gayatri’s future or well being. She was assuming this as a first step in completing her responsibility to her daughter and gets rid of her. She was not at all mean; this was the influence of society that had made her like that. 

Gayatri’s was show cased to Abhijeet putting on the best possible make up on her face.
Abhijeet came with her Mother and was shying talking to Gayatri taking her to a corner of the venue though Mr. Gupta had asked him to feel comfortable. He however redirected the decision to his mother.

“Gayatri, have you slept?” Mrs. Saxena shouted and Gayatri returned to present and again gone back to past getting reminiscence about Granni’s place 2-3 years ago.  One saffron clad person had spoken about her brilliant luck coming her way. She was connecting the dots and slowly started expecting the good life ahead.

Mrs. Saxena’s happiness was beyond natural limits. Mr. Saxena and Suneel had started planning about the wedding. Consulting Pandit Ji, getting dates, taking concurrence from groom side, booking caterers, banquet hall, inviting relatives, so much was there to be done. Due to the nature of job Suneel was usually busy and the responsibility of implementation was broadly taken by Mr. Saxena. However he made himself available for discussions and planning. Suneel got married last year only so he had to have some time for his wife also, a fair demand of Babita!

Dolly was very happy for Gayatri and she started playing lots of pranks associating Gayatri’s name with Abhijeet. Girls usually do that! Dolly had agreed to accompany her in her shopping after many requests of Gayatri. Babita though shared a good terms with Gayatri but she didn’t involve in family matters much and used to keep herself at certain distance.

15 days have passed and they have only one month left for engagement ceremony and 3 more days to wedding thereafter.

Gayatri had purchased a set of necklace, pair of earrings, aesthetically embroidered lahnga for wedding and lots of branded stuff for her make-up kit. Dolly used to spend her whole day with Gayatri assisting her for readiness. They were very happy and enjoying every moment of this strange feeling which Gayatri had and Dolly being only 1 year younger than her was also dreaming for her “would be”.

After having discussed about the plans when Suneel entered to his room Babita was fuming. She screamed, “Entire family is preparing for wedding, God knows, Dooms Day! It seems nothing else is remained to do on the earth. You also have enough time now and whenever I had asked to go to Doctor, you always came with some or the other excuse of your weird meatings and bloody Boss. Crap! Gayatri is shopping as if wearing costly clothes and sporting branded makeup will make her princess. I feel pity about Abhijeet; still not able to figure out how he agreed to marry her. Has he gone mad or he doesn’t have a proper eye sight? Oh! Might be he is the desperate one and want to get a girl some how.”

Gayatri had heard the conversation. She had come to give Suneel a glass of milk as her mother had asked her saying, “Bhabhi is not well today. She hasn’t come down and taken milk for Bhaiya. You go, give it to him. He does lots of work in his office. These private companies literally suck blood before depositing salaries. Thankfully Abhijeet has a government job.”

She had never heard Babita saying such things for her and kept on assuming good about her. Gayatri became badly upset but didn’t acknowledge before them. She had given the milk to Suneel and came back to her room. Babita’s words had again pushed her in a cobweb of thousands questions. “Had Abhijeet seen me properly? Was there any pressure on him?”  Gayatri couldn’t take a nap whole the night.

Process is sacrosanct: Engagement and Tilak precede Wedding ceremony

Adding to the dismay, Mr. Saxena got a call in the early morning for sad news of sudden demise of Abhijeet’s mother. Abhijeet was the only son and there was nobody left in the family except him. Saxena family was thinking after so many rejections this guy had OKed Gayatri; sudden death of his mother might again trigger the situation back. She remained ill for years but the sad incident happened just days after the decision of marriage was taken.

Mr. Saxena had asked Suneel to accompany him while going to funeral. He reluctantly refused and said,” I’ve an important meeting in my office.” Gayatri had a question which she never asked, “Is there any meeting more important than somebody’s death?” Mr. Saxena however had a heavy heart with multiple “what ifs”. People there started talking about postponing marriage for some days. One of Abhijeet’s relative who was introduced as his maternal uncle to Mr. Saxena rather suggested just completing necessary rituals of marriage and canceling rest all celebrations. He emphasized, “It has now become more urgent and necessary since nobody is there with Abhijeet in this difficult time, we should help this done the sooner possible.”

The much awaited day had come for Gayatri but there were no celebrations. Mr. Saxena had kept it a low key affair just to avoid hurting Abhijeet’s feelings.

Orchestra had been called just to play one song at the event of “Jaimala”. Gayatri had come from parlor and was trying to look her best. She had dressed well, after all her lahnga was being reminiscent to some latest bollywood flick.

From the main gate of hall to the stage Gayatri was putting her feet as if she is moving on clouds. Orchestra was playing a romantic devotional song trying to simulate the scene with Ram and Sita’s holy wedding.

The sudden demise of Abhijeet’s mother had left those gloomy gestures on his face. Sitting on the stage he was trying to feel that it was the day of his life and his mother is no more with him. Abhijeet became more anxious the closer Gayatri was coming. His face turned deadpan as if this is the first time he has seen her. It was a shock when Abhijeet had stood up and called Mr. Gupta and his maternal uncle; He said, “This is not the same girl I had OKed.” His uncle got irritated and ordered him to get married without creating scene there. He further said,” You and your mother had OKed this girl; It’s not right; its utter disrespect for the girl and her family. Moreover, it was the last wish of my sister; I’ll ensure its completion.” Mr. Gupta didn’t respond to the situation and tagged it as a “childish and irresponsible behavior”.

Abhijeet’s uncle had forbade Mr. Gupta to tell to Mr. Saxena. He however had told Mr. Saxena the entire story and added, “It’ll all be OK. These all young generation guys, they all want a princess for them.”

Gayatri was completely unaware about this “disowning one’s own decision” behavior of Abhijeet and was satisfied as the rituals were being performed and their significance was also being explained by Pandit ji. “The 7 steps custom of hindu marriage is called “7 Phere”. In 4 “Phere” bride moves ahead and groom follows and in the remaining 3, groom moves ahead; 7 promises are associated with “7 Pheres”. The fact about hindu rituals is that every other chant urges to surrender ego to one’s spouse. It takes efforts to practice this however. It is the key of successful married life.” Pandit ji said. Gayatri was completely aligning her conscience to whatever Pandit ji said.

Not many people knew Abhijeet’s concern. Everybody was having empathy with him for her mother. Wedding ceremony got completed and Gayatri came to her in law’s home in the decorated car with Abhijeet. Abhijeet didn’t speak even a word on the way. Gayatri and her parents cried a lot at the time of “Vidai”. Nobody knew the exact reason why Mr. Saxena lost control over his emotions. He was not sure about Gayatri’s married life ahead.

Not many kins had been invited in the wedding and even close relatives started leaving for their home just after vidai. There were neither celebrations nor fun so none was interested to be there with the newly married couple. Everybody left by the evening and Abhijeet and Gayatri were the only people remained in the house.

Commit a blunder to correct a blunder Vs compromise

Abhijeet came and sat beside Gayatri and said, “See, I’m telling you frankly. I’m not sure whether you are the same girl whom my mother had OKed and now I can’t live with you. I don’t want to waste my life and yours as well. I am a very simple man and don’t know how to beat about the bush so telling you everything very clear. I don’t want to keep grudges for you and waste my entire life. Why would I compromise on my dreams? If it was a mistake, I would immediately correct it. I can’t live my life with such an ugly girl.” Gayatri had not have thought about this in her worst dreams so far. She collected her courage and said, “What are you saying on the earth? God, weren’t you there on that day? Was there only your mother who had OKed me? How irresponsible? You are not ready to own your decisions. What is my mistake there? Why didn’t you tell at the stage of Jaimala if you had even an ounce of doubt? What will happen to my life? How will my parents be able to take it? So many days of preparations, so many dreams, so many expectations, so many feelings of mine and my family which are associated with you? What will happen to that? What type of guy are you? Now tell me what will I do now?    

She had never thought that the first conversation with her husband would be having so many words with a feeling of being rejected. She was an introverted girl and had never spoken so many words continuously at a time to anybody. Abhijeet left the room without responding to any question. A typhoon of questions and anxiety captured her brain. She became numb and kept sitting there for hours. Abhijeet didn’t return to that room. Whatever had been said was crawling in her brain. She was not able to concentrate her mind and think the way forward. She kept sitting in the same posture entire night. Suicide was a better idea for her than going back to her parents. She didn’t want to spoil their life as well. She kept thinking about the words of saffron clad saint and Babita both.

Abhijeet went some where in the morning without having breakfast or even having a word with Gayatri. Gayatri was not feeling well. The mental trauma had started taking toll on her physical health. She thought to talk to Abhijeet and ask the way forward how exactly he wants to take it further. She wanted to tell everything to her parents. She had cried many times in the night.

Gayatri had asked Abhijeet, “please tell me what you want now; I don’t want to bother you much.” Abhijeet replied, “Decide yourself or ask to your family.” She started crying. She was thinking none but you are my family. Whom to ask now? Abhijeet again said, “I don’t care what will you do now. I’ve already told that I can’t live with you.” She was not sure how to convince herself or why to cry. She was going through hell of emotions. Gayatri asked, “Do you want me to leave?” Abhijeet nodded positively.

Gayatri had taken her suitcase and left the house. She had left every other thing which Mr. Saxena had given to her as a gift on her wedding.

She had called a rickshaw and told him her address. She was thinking about her dad, mom and bhaiya. She didn’t want to be a burden on them. In spite of being expelled from his home she did think about Abhijeet. She had developed affection for him since beginning.  She believed that she had a sense of responsibility for her hubby also. The person who hadn’t thought even a moment before spoiling her life is still her hubby, she had that belief.

Gayatri reached her home. Everyone welcomed her warmly and asked about Abhijeet. She said, “He had some urgent work in office so left early and I came here.” Suneel casually asked about the suitcase, it was Sunday and luckily Suneel was there home. Gayatri couldn’t hold her emotions and collapsed.

She told the whole tragic story to them. Suneel started shouting, “Bastard! Had he gone blind at that time? His mother had confirmed Gupta uncle. How can he say this? I’ll make his life hell.” Mr. Saxena had nothing to say. Mr. Saxena called Mr. Gupta and narrated him the story. Mr. Gupta was shocked; he was thinking about Gayatri’s future. Since Mr. Gupta also had a daughter so he understood the risk and emotions well.

Mr. Gupta called Abhijeet’s maternal uncle, his closest relative and uncle further called Abhijeet to Gayatri’s home. Abhijeet bluntly said, “I had already told you before Jaimala; now I don’t care who will take the responsibility of what wrong had happened. They have cheated me; this is not the same girl.” Suneel caught Abhijeet’s collar and asked, “How the hell will we call your mother and confirm this?” Everybody had asked Suneel to calm down. Mr. Gupta and Uncle tried their best to convince Abhijeet but he refused to continue the marriage.

Abhijeet left the house immediately saying he is not open to have any further discussions and asked Suneel, “Do whatever you want. I’m ready to deal with it.

Everybody left the house condemning Abhijeet’s act. Now it was up to her family to deal with it.

They were not having any idea about the solution of this problem. They were not sure whether the solution at all exists. The feeling of love is pure and spontaneous it can’t be ingested. They all were trying to discuss it among themselves but there were no constructive thoughts. The psychology of human relations is too complicated to be understood. And moreover mere understanding would not be sufficient. The day had passed, none wanted to have dinner. Everybody had gone to bed without saying even “Good Night”. Even Dolly didn’t come to meet Gayatri. And even if she would have come, what could she have asked for? There was nor in law’s home neither the husband. She might not have enough nerves to face Gayatri now.    

The whole night passed, none could take a nap even for some moments. It was looking like a journey in dark extended tunnel which was never ending. The brains were at work without any constructive thoughts, all were reminiscence. Suneel and Mr. Saxena had to go to office the next morning. Both had taken leaves. Babita had prepared breakfast and asked everybody to have it. She convincingly said, “Every thing would be OK.” Gayatri felt as if somebody had offered her shoulder. She broke down into tears. Babita consoled to be calm and said, “Don’t worry, your bhaiya and dad will figure out some or the other way; it’ll all be OK.” Her words were so soothing and cool; Gayatri embraced Babita and moaned, “Bhabhi.”

The next day Suneel and Mr. Saxena both went to their respective offices. They had shared this tragic story with everybody but none had any ready-made remedial suggestion. Suneel’s friends however suggested filing a case in court. After sharing his pain with someone person gets some emotional support that was the only outcome of this day.

Working on a non-trivial problem is not recommended

Family members had resumed their routine work having empathy with Gayatri. Suneel had asked his dad about the idea of filing a case against Abhijeet. Mr. Saxena said, “Have you ever heard court giving any amicable solution so far? It takes years of follow ups and hell lot of money to get to some conclusion. Will you be able to get time off from your work when court will summon?” Suneel got irritated and asked, “That means we won’t do anything. We’ll sit quietly.” Mr. Saxena didn’t respond.

Gayatri was getting drawn to depression. Everyone in her family stopped talking to her not because she had committed any mistake but they didn’t have anything to talk about, any solution by which they can alleviate her pain.

Month passed but nothing changed to better for Gayatri. Mr. Saxena and Suneel after having lots of futile discussions realized that this was the destiny and we don’t have any role to play here. Middle class common men discuss a lot and end up doing nothing and who does, certainly isn’t a common man. They thought going office daily and working for their employer is the scope of their duties for their inner conscience which they were doing nicely. Mrs. Saxena was a house wife her scope of duties was doing the house hold stuff, helping Babita prepare and serve the food etc.

So now Gayatri was an unwanted burden on everybody’s shoulders and they were bound to live with it. Babita however was not ready to compromise. Having arguments regarding this with Suneel every night became her habit. She started thinking Gayatri a burden for the family and a disturbance for her day to day life in home.      

Gayatri most of the time had a feeling to cry; she was suffering from depression. Mr. Saxena had consulted with a physician also who directed him to a psychiatrist. After returning from clinic Mr. Saxena shouted on Gayatri’s mother, “Dr. Saheb was saying she has a mental problem, consult to some psychiatrist. This is the only thing left in this trauma; why don’t you ask her to make herself busy with some work. Lying down on bed and crying every now and then will certainly take a toll. She should be bold enough to start facing the situation.  Is she waiting us to tell her what to do next?” Mrs. Saxena understood the frustration of her hubby and decided to convey the message to Gayatri her own way.

Gayatri’s mother tried to talk to her about her plans next. She didn’t utter even a word rather broke down in tears. It was getting difficult to convince Gayatri to forget Abhijeet and at least return back to daily routine. Mr. Saxena had taken appointment with a psychiatrist for Gayatri. Dr. suggested Mr Saxena to take it normal as the problem was due to the trauma she recently had and advised to make her busy in some productive work. He had given her some pills also to help her take a good nap.

Mr. Saxena kept convincing Gayatri to focus on Doctor’s advice and to start doing some productive work e.g. resuming her studies, preparing for some competitive exams as Dolly is already preparing for BSRB (Banking Service Recruitment Board).

Suneel asked for Gayatri’s health and about Doctor’s opinion after coming back from his office. Mr. Saxeana updated him. Agreeing with Doctor’s suggestion suneel said, “Yes, Gayatri should try to forget and start to put efforts to make her life better and meaningful.”

The moment Suneel Stepped in the room, Babita started, “I had already said that this behavior will certainly depress her. Not in a mood to share her feelings, lying down all the time, start crying every now and then and moreover not taking a nap at night rather at odd times. Why doesn’t she do some productive work at least, I’m OK if she doesn’t do the house hold stuff? I strongly recommend she should at least take some tuition of colony kids.  Suneel interrupted, “How can she teach, she had never been good in her studies.”  Babita retorted, “She had never been an abandoned wife, but now she is. She has to understand that this is her problem and should own it. She should at least start finding the solution and if the problem is non trivial. She should drop the idea of solving this and start working on some other productive thing which will make her life meaningful. And while working on her solution if she needs help she should ask the relevant person. People will help but she has to ask for. Thinking that somebody else would take the responsibility of solving her problem won’t take her anywhere.” Suneel understood that Babita is absolutely correct and nodded positively.

Everybody tried to illuminate the lost spark of Gayatri’s life in their own way but in vain. Her condition was getting worse day by day; she had lost hope that something good can ever happen for her. Adding to the irony she was gaining weight due to taking pills and sleeping in odd times. People were too busy in their routine job to take her for some outing or try to involve her in some refreshment activities.  Her mother had requested Dolly to take some time off from her studies for Gayatri.

God doesn’t have a rational scope of functioning: Have hope

One usual morning Babita woke up feeling nausea and started vomiting. Mrs. Saxena had given her a glass of water and congratulated Mr. Saxena with a smiling gesture. Mr. Saxena didn’t take time to understand the matter and reciprocated the gesture. Hearing the noise of vomiting Gayatri woke up and stood behind Babita to support her. Mr. Saxena quickly left for sweet shop; they were waiting for some good news to boost up the nerves of their family.

All were happy; they had seen smile flashing on Gayatri’s face after long time. She has got a shining ray of hope. She loved her bhaiya very much and thought of arrival of his kid had stimulated life in her inert soul.

Gayatri started taking good care of Babita and getting involved in the house hold work for helping her mother. Doctor’s advice for Babita to take rest had done wonders for Gayatri to come back and perform. Gayatri had got a reason.

Getting up early in the morning, preparing breakfast, tiffin for Suneel and her dad, lunch and looking after Bhabhi became daily routine for Gayatri though she hadn’t have forgotten Abhijeet and the prolonged curse of her life. She used to cry in her bed daily before sleeping but due to full day exertion didn’t require pills anymore to have a sound sleep.

Slowly Gayatri was regaining confidence and worth in her existence. Dolly’s exams were over and she used to come daily afternoon. Gayatri got occupied for the entire day. Babita developed a feeling for her and began to acknowledge her support. Dolly had updated her about the exams and syllabus she was studying. Since Gayatri had completed her BA, she decided to apply for MA, English Lit. The nice environment of Saxena family was making brains fertile to help growth of constructive thoughts.

God doesn’t have a rational scope of functioning; He has countless dimensions to spread happiness. Babita delivered a baby boy. Euphoria was getting defined by the way family was celebrating. It was a normal delivery; Babita got discharged from hospital in couple of days. Suneel had taken leaves from his busy schedules. Gayatri being a devotee of Lord Shiva had named him “Shivam”. Babita also liked the name because it starts from “S” same as that of Suneel.

Passing days had seen many whethers; Gayatri learnt to conceal her feelings and became quite intelligent emotionally. She got occupied pampering Shivam more than Babita. Shivam was very affectionate kid, naughty and charming. People used to get interested in his cute activities spontaneously. He became a darling of the society and used to go to the park daily evening which had opened many doors for Gayatri to interact with people of her neighborhood. Gayatri slowly became socially aware.

Not sure about destination, choose any of the available routes and work to make your decision a right decision

She had taken admission in MA, English literature. Babita was back fulfilling the responsibilities of a home maker and Gayatri had only two dedicated tasks remained Shivam and her studies. She had got a direction; she had involved in her syllabus completely studying “Elizabethans and Augustans” literature, stories of truth, death, religion, revenge, adversity, envy, love and so many human emotions depicting various shades of life. Writers had personified the emotions in their own way; aesthetically used words had made the books as milestone and writers legends.

In the study of Pre-romantics and Romantics literature Gayatri used to get lost while reading elegies and sonnets. She got inspired by John Milton but didn’t like Wordsworth at all because of his beautiful muse “Lucy”.

"And yet, God has not said a word!” Porphyria having ravishing looks laid down dead embraced by her lover. She did not feel any pain. How could she? She was being strangulated by her lover with her own silky hair. He didn’t want the mesmerizing moment to change when he had embraced the beauty.   He wanted expressions of love to be frozen forever. Beauty had intoxicated her lover to have an abnormal wavelength of the feelings. “Porphyria Lover”, the poem composed by Robert Browning was in the syllabus of MA, English literature and had been discussed in the class. “Unfortunate girl, in spite of being beautiful also…” She had explained the story to Babita that night. Earlier she used to believe “Unlucky beauty” was an oxymoron.

One after noon Dolly had updated Gayatri that Abhijeet was getting married again with a pretty girl matching his expectations. Gayatri paused for a moment and said, “I hold grudges with God only, forgiven everybody else. None but God was rude. Being ugly was already a curse, misunderstanding of Abhijeet for whatever reasons did nothing less than making my life hell”.

Her subconscious mind had absorbed every details Dolly shared about Abhijeet’s bride and she had accepted her as her own beautiful reincarnation. She used to imagine herself with Abhijeet while reading romantic literatures. Her marriage was not even consummated only chants of Pandit ji were the tying threads which nobody cared but Gayatri.

Appreciation motivates, criticism improves

Her final year exams were about to be started and so was the anxiety. Suneel was busy surveying the good schools for his kid. Mr. Saxena was now a retired old man and had already anticipated the stretched economic conditions they were about to face. Babita again turned a critic for Gayatri and said to her, “How far can you go just by sticking to your story books. There are many already completed MA with flying colors and still struggling to earn penny. Why don’t you join some beautician course just after exams?”
Gayatri didn’t respond but thought it requires a presentable fashionable face to run even a sub standard parlor. Babita did ignite the thought and created a reason for Gayatri to ponder.

Every word said and every action performed retain energy unless produce some output; when she was at her teen age her dad used to say “Be it strength of youth or seduction of beauty when it comes to earning respect education beats everything else”. These motivational words were retaining energy for so many years and now it got cumulated with that of Babita’s criticism. Gayatri decided to make her career in education industry.

She was waiting for Dr. Pandey in college to consult with him about her new plans. Dr. Pandey was not late today but Gayatri came before time. The enthusiasm didn’t let her take a nap whole the night. He suggested starting preparation for B.Ed. Though she had Numerophobia since childhood yet she didn’t give herself even a moment to waste and purchased the book as suggested by Dr. Pandey to prepare for B.Ed.

None but her dad noticed and appreciated the efforts which had cemented her determination. She could hardly count moments when she became the reason of happiness for her dad. MA result was out and first time in her academics she got first division. Suneel and her dad were very happy for Gayatri. Babita however had a different opinion, “There are many who have done MA that too first division, so what?”   

Though according to psychologist William James, “The deepest human need is the need to be appreciated” but lucky are the persons who have critics, critics make a person great by always giving them directions to improve. Babita was doing her job well.

Gayatri observed the changed behavior of people for her after completing MA. People had tagged her as “Sincere girl”. Mrs. Soni requested Gayatri to tutor her son studying in 7th std. She offered 500 Rs/- per month and Gayatri happily accepted. Apart from teaching English Gayatri taught him manners also. Mrs. Soni recommended Gayatri to some of her friends also and they approached Gayatri.

Gayatri became busy for entire day and used to study in nights. Gradually she was learning the art of teaching. The fun in doing something has a secret; if you mastered the skill you would enjoy doing it. Gayatri was on the way to have fun in teaching.  

She bought fancy clothes for Shivam, saries for mom and bhabhi, a watch for bhaiya and spectacles for dad; it required her to save her tuition earnings for four months. There is no other joy greater than the joy of giving, being reason of somebody else’s happiness. Gayatri got immense satisfaction and a feeling of being worth of something.

Her studies were not limited to English literature now; “Logical and Analytical Reasoning” and “Educational and General Awareness” were the two broad sections of B.Ed. entrance exam as Dr. Panday had guided Gayatri. And these sections captured many heterogeneous subjects. It’s always good to prepare for some or the other competitive exams after completing academics. It gives a finishing touch to personality and sharpens one’s wit.  

Though she had worked hard on mock test papers but as the entrance exams were close Gayatri was anxious. While working in kitchen in a conversation with her mother in law Babita said, “There is no point being so nervous, is she going to border? This is an exam after all and she should be matured enough.” Gayatri heard the conversation and took a deep breath; Babita’s words though harsh but had constructively strengthen her determination every time. She had constantly illuminated the urge for improvement from her active criticism.

Gayatri had cleared the entrance exam and taken admission. College, tuitions, studies and little time for Shivam had occupied her days. While juggling all the activities in her routine and managing her time to do it perfectly she didn’t even realize and her B. Ed got completed. Dolly got married to a nice guy working in a top MNC in Delhi. A distant relative of Mr. Gupta and a friend of Abhijeet’s father started discussion about Abhijeet in Dolly’s wedding ceremony and told Mr. Saxeana that Abhijeet is having a good life with his pretty wife and two daughters. “It had taken hell lot of efforts for us to come out of this trauma and now we don’t want to indulge in any discussion regarding Abhijeet”, Mr. Saxena said to him. He agreed empathetically.

Fundamental formula of success

Dr. Pandey found Gayatri sincere and worthy and recommended her for a job in his friend’s school. Gayatri offered her gratitude and happily joined the school. Her remuneration was 5000 Rs. along with pick up and drops to and fro. It had made Gayatri’s life little better. Dr. Pandey had suggested Gayatri to keep trying for Government College.

Her parents were satisfied with Gayatri. Apart from buying some books she hardly had any other expenses; she started helping her dad and sometimes bhaiya also financially.
Life was OK for Saxena family; the only concern was loneliness of Gayatri for her entire life but nobody had a remedial solution.

Mr. Saxena was getting older so were the health issues. Gayatri and her mother were taking a good care of him. Gayatri had taught in that school for 3 years and kept applying for government colleges. Dr. Pandey was a good mentor; he used to guide her whenever she needed. He used to say that education gives you power to unfold your wings and soar high in the sky of success. It doesn’t ask for the back ground you are coming from or the status you are having.

Gayatri got an ad-hoc position as a lecturer in a government college with help of Dr. Pandey; her salary also increased considerably.

Years passed, Gayatri is now in her 50s. She had completed her Ph.D. and will be HOD of her department next year. A lot has changed, her parents passed away; sacred soul of Dr. Pandey also departed for ever lasting journey. Shivam is now a young lad and is pursuing his engineering in Delhi University. Gayatri had purchased a house and shifted, though she still helps Suneel financially.

One day while taking a lecture one cute girl requested her to sign on a library card and Gayatri spontaneously asked her father’s name. The response amazed her. She was Abhijeet’s daughter. “Abijeet Srivastava” the name pronounced by the girl had put her pulses resonating for quite sometime. The girl asked observing the changed expressions, “Ma’am, do you know him?” She replied, “Yes, ask your dad.”

God knows “why” but Abhijeet did come to meet her in her college. Nobody knows what exactly they talked about and how she could manage herself after so many years, so many adversaries, and the culprit is right before her. Gayatri never blamed him, she didn’t hold any grudges. 

Forgiveness is the divine virtue which Gayatri possessed and Gayatri Saxena has become the source of inspiration for girls who think themselves worthless in male dominating society. The success story of her clearly tells about the fundamental formula of success: “You’ll definitely get success when you don’t have any other options but to try.”

People talk about Gayatri and some even say that she contributed a handsome amount for Abhijeet’s elder daughter’s wedding. Abhijeet frequently visits her home and she welcomes him exactly the same way a loving wife does for her hubby. Many Indian wives would justify Gayatri’s act of forgiving her hubby; none other than an Indian woman can do this. 

Surrender once ego is the pre-requisite of love and if you agree then you must agree that no husband loves his wife more than she does. This may be a bitter truth and would ask for courage to accept it publicly but bitter is better many times. Gayatri’s love was as pure and sacred as the chants of Pandit ji which he cited at the time of wedding.

- Amit Roop


  1. A delightful, emotion stirring and soul-touching story...
    Through out the blog, I felt as if I'm reading a well woven story of life... here, u named it "Gayatri"... I can't wait for prequel of this story, and not too forget, a sequel too... :)

    U wrote:"...common men discuss a lot and end up doing nothing and who does, certainly isn’t a common man. " Great thought; So true; So precise. Certainly, your writing has made u 'uncommon'... I hope u keep this work up always, and take it to even higher levels...
    Loads of good luck from my side...

    1. Thanks Neelam for such motivating feedback.