Those Five Days

I left the pathetic place of endless misfortune yesterday morning.

I would quickly tell you what actually happened. I had suffered multiple organs failure and my family Doctor asked my husband to take me home as I had few days left to live. In spite of my resistance, my husband got me admitted in the best hospital of the city. It actually added more pain in my ordeal.

A lot to say...

I was 20 when my parents got me married with a government employee. He was very lean and common looking man. By the time I understood the meaning of marriage, I was in love with him and soon I became mother of two. We both tried to nurture our kids well. We forgot whatever we used to fond of doing for ourselves rather our priorities shrank to our kids.

They were growing young and we old. A lot had changed; my mom, I couldn't had thought living a day without, had passed away and I couldn't stay there at my Maika with my dad because of kids' exam. After two years when dad departed for everlasting journey, I couldn't give more than 15 days time as again my kids needed me home.

Both kids had gone to hostels for higher educations. our scarcities surged as a government employee should not think of sending his kids to private engineering colleges that we dared. High blood pressure had taken him in its grip.Time passed, grown-up kids got married - one with permission and other without.

Everything bad had taken its toll and good was never enough to mitigate the loss. My husband was the only person who stood with me in all the odds. Though of many he was also a victim.

Now the time had come, doctors were saying something that I couldn't understand. Relatives were whispering something that my husband didn't want to listen. There were lots of things which I wish I could have not bothered of. What actually should have mattered never seemed to have mattered for me. I stressed myself for mundane issue. I was craving to have time with my husband in utter silence but they had imprisoned me in the hospital. They didn't allow even my husband to be with me. That was 'super specialty hospital' and it would have definitely shown in their bills.

At visiting hours, he did come. I had seen him all tears the day before yesterday but failed to acknowledge his love. He wanted to say, 'it will never be same without you.' I couldn't say, 'I would always pray to have you my husband in all my incarnations.' Sister used to give me some intoxicants intro-venous half an hour before visiting hours. It was not her fault though.

For everybody, I passed away yesterday. world had come to an end for me but I was worried as usual - how will my husband manage to pay bills?

- Amit Roop